{"id":130,"date":"2007-10-31T20:30:23","date_gmt":"2007-11-01T00:30:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/christianfighterpilot.com\/blog\/?p=130"},"modified":"2009-09-02T12:48:19","modified_gmt":"2009-09-02T16:48:19","slug":"the-second-priority-of-military-christians","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/christianfighterpilot.com\/blog\/2007\/10\/31\/the-second-priority-of-military-christians\/","title":{"rendered":"The Second Priority of Military Christians"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is the second in a series of articles on military Christians and life priorities.\u00a0 The <\/em>first<\/em><\/a> addressed the necessity of the priority of God in a Christian’s life, and looked into the potential responses that others may have to that priority.\u00a0 The second priority that a military Christian must consider is that of his family.<\/em><\/p>\n

The Family Priority<\/strong><\/p>\n

A military Christian’s second priority should be family.\u00a0 The Air Force has generally been regarded as the more “family friendly” of the services, and it continues to recognize that a military member’s family life directly influences the performance of his duties.\u00a0 (Incidentally, November is National Military Family Month, as noted by the Chief Master Sergeant of the Air Force\u2019s recent Enlisted Perspective<\/a><\/em>.)\u00a0 Still, the nature of the military environment virtually ensures that there will be conflict between the military profession and a service member\u2019s family.<\/p>\n

A military member’s family is as much in the military as he is.\u00a0 During a lull in a base exercise, a fighter pilot’s wife thought it would be nice to try to bring him lunch at the planning cell, where he was hard at work behind a desk instead of flying.\u00a0 She strapped their baby into the car and deftly navigated around the concertina wire and concrete barricades.\u00a0 She arrived at his office just in time to get caught in the middle of a mock ground battle.\u00a0 A young airman from the security forces unexpectedly lay across the hood of her car and let loose hundreds of blank rounds from an M-60 machine gun.\u00a0 Fortunately, she had some experience with the Air Force and knew it was part of the exercise; she managed not to panic as brass shells bounced off her windshield.\u00a0 She was concerned for their daughter, but she needn’t have been:\u00a0 the kid slept soundly through the entire firefight.<\/p>\n

Truly, that family was just as much “in” the military as was the fighter pilot husband and father.\u00a0 The military life is challenging not only for the service member, but also for the spouse and children.\u00a0 An oft quoted phrase regarding the military\/family relationship is that “you’ll retire from the military in 20 years, but your family will be around for your lifetime.”\u00a0 If the military Christian wants his family to be there when he separates or retires, he needs to give them the attention that they need now<\/em>.\u00a0 Even in non-religious segments of society, few people honestly say that they would choose their career over their families; the clich\u00e9 is that on their deathbed, no one says they wished they spent more time at work.\u00a0 While there may be times that military service will require sacrifice (a topic that will be addressed at another time), a military Christian must emphasize the priority of family in his life.<\/p>\n

The family priority means that after the Christian assesses his actions in relation to his God priority<\/a>, he determines what the impact will be on his family.\u00a0 Like the God priority, the family priority does not mean that because he has a family a Christian will refuse to accomplish his duty.\u00a0 Again, legal, required, and moral duties can still be “harmful” to the family:\u00a0 the most obvious example is the deployment of troops to war.\u00a0 Wars are not fought only by single, childless men.\u00a0 The separation that occurs and the stress that it places on the family are unfavorable, but the commitment to country rises above the needs of the family.\u00a0 Outside of responding to the nation’s call to war, though, there will be many times when a Christian will need to balance the demands of his professional career with the needs of his family.<\/p>\n

Living the Family Priority<\/strong><\/p>\n

Many military members\u2014fighter pilots in particular\u2014work very long days separated by short nights; it is tempting to go home, fall asleep, wake up, and go back into work.\u00a0 “Living” at work can be hard on the family.\u00a0 Many things will demand an officer\u2019s time, but most are temporary in nature:\u00a0 combat, preparing for combat, exercises, and inspections all demand extra time but also have limited durations.\u00a0 In a perfect world, an officer’s family will understand the demands of the military and honor both his time and fatigue.\u00a0 However, his family still needs his presence, time, and effort.\u00a0 Even during demanding times, a military Christian may need to make special efforts to give his family the priority they need.<\/p>\n

To help prioritize his family, a military Christian should consider devoting “untouchable” time to be with them.\u00a0 For some, this is done most easily by keeping the weekend sacred\u2014if the officer is not required to work on the weekend, he makes every effort not to, though this may require him to stay at work longer during the week.\u00a0 Others choose to prioritize the weekday evenings, often taking the role of putting their children to bed; if necessary, they may go into work on the weekends.\u00a0 There is no single right answer, though there is one wrong one: neglecting the family.\u00a0 Though there may be times when sacrifices must be made, a Christian should carefully weigh those times when his time at his profession would demand priority over his family.<\/p>\n

A military Christian must also carefully consider conflicts between his God and family priorities.\u00a0 It is worth remembering that the need to take care of family is a Biblical directive.\u00a0 God gave specific commands for husbands, wives, and parents to be responsible for their families (through Paul, for example, in Ephesians and Colossians).\u00a0 There is no Biblical example of God demanding (or allowing) the break-up of a family to accomplish His will; on the contrary, the Old and New Testaments place priority on the marriage and family relationship, which are to be followed<\/em> by Godly service.\u00a0 In the Old Testament, newly married men were not sent to war until a year after their wedding (Deuteronomy 24:5).\u00a0 In the New Testament, God commanded that men be in control over their own houses before they started working for Him (1 Timothy 3:12).<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, there are countless examples in the Christian community of those who have had the foundations of their faith questioned by the break-up of their family.\u00a0 Popular artist Amy Grant<\/a> practically fell out of the Christian music industry when she divorced her husband and married country music artist Vince McGill (also recently divorced) less than a year later.\u00a0 Dr. Charles Stanley<\/a>, pastor of the First Baptist Church of Atlanta and the personality of the television ministry In Touch<\/em>, divorced his wife of 44 years in 2000.\u00a0 Dr. Stanley’s case gained particular notoriety because of his celebrity status and because in 1995 he had promised to step down as pastor if his then-separation became divorce.\u00a0 When he did not do so, he was supported by his church and widely criticized outside of it.<\/p>\n

Besides such infamous stories of spiritual shortcomings, there are also many anecdotes about missionaries’ marriages failing due to the unique challenges of the mission field.\u00a0 One Christian couple rationalized their failed marriage by saying that they were “serving God so faithfully” they had neglected their own relationship; such an attitude isn’t scriptural.\u00a0 God repeatedly emphasized the marriage relationship throughout the Bible\u2014from the union of Adam and Eve “as one” in Genesis, to Jesus’ “let man not separate” directive and the description of the church as Christ’s bride in the New Testament (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:6).\u00a0 Ultimately, obedience<\/em> to God is the highest priority, but a Christian must not take on the attitude that what he perceives as service<\/em> to God is worth the loss of his family.\u00a0 This is similar to what Samuel was trying to explain to Saul when he told him that “to obey is better than sacrifice” (1 Samuel 15:22).\u00a0 To obey God, including His commands that families are appropriately tended to, is better than any act of service.<\/p>\n

Like the misunderstanding missionaries, military Christians may experience similar conflicts in their God and family priorities, because the servant attitude that attracts Christians to military service also attracts them to service for God.\u00a0 The military, unlike many civilian career fields, is not a “9 to 5” profession; a military member is often “on duty” 24 hours a day, even when the official 12, 14, or 16 hour workday is done.\u00a0 Because the military already monopolizes the time of a military member, it is often difficult to be involved in extracurricular activities.\u00a0 If a military Christian chooses to do so, he may sacrifice what little free time he has for his family.\u00a0 One of the greatest challenges occurs when military Christians want to take a more active (or even leadership) role in non-work related Christian service.\u00a0 While teaching Sunday School, leading a mid-week Bible study, or helping with a youth group are admirable and noble pursuits, they, too, take up precious time that could be spent with the family.\u00a0 This does not mean that a military Christian shouldn\u2019t take on leadership roles, but he must carefully and consciously make such decisions.<\/p>\n

Perspective<\/strong><\/p>\n

The necessity of the importance of family is not confined to the military profession.\u00a0 An excellent book on one man’s perspective on the family priority is Tony Dungy’s recent bestseller Quiet Strength<\/em>.\u00a0 Though Dungy is a football coach, an understanding (or even appreciation) of football is not required to see how the husband and father handled the conflicting priorities in his life.\u00a0 Dungy’s descriptions of the demands of his profession are sometimes eerily similar to those of a military service member.\u00a0 Arguably, not all of his decisions were the best, but the example he sets is admirable.\u00a0 He has what millions of men probably consider the most coveted of positions, that of a Super Bowl winning NFL head coach\u2014but the reluctant celebrity repeatedly emphasizes that there’s more to this life:<\/p>\n

Football is great\u2026but football is just a game.\u00a0 It’s not family.\u00a0 It’s not a way of life.\u00a0 It doesn’t provide any sort of intrinsic meaning.\u00a0 It’s just football\u2026 Although football has been a part of my life that I’ve really enjoyed, I’ve always viewed it as a means to do something more.\u00a0 A means to share my faith, to encourage and lift up other people.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dungy’s other thoughts on the decisions in his life often mirror those that a Christian in the military (and in particular, Christian fighter pilots) must make, including, for example, the choices he knew would affect whether or not he “fit in.”\u00a0 Quiet Strength<\/em> (available on Amazon<\/a>) is an excellent read for those that might want a somewhat new perspective on Christian living in what some may consider an unkind environment.<\/p>\n

Conclusion<\/strong><\/p>\n

Like Coach Dungy, a military Christian will face many pressures, both internal and external, that will challenge the importance of his family in his life.\u00a0 His profession, desires for Christian service, and even simple personal needs will stretch the limits of his available time and attention.\u00a0 Emphasizing the importance of family in the military may sometimes be challenging, but it is a Christian’s God-given responsibility.\u00a0 The priority a Christian places on his family is the direct result of his obedience to God and his personal choices\u2014both of which are within his direct control.\u00a0 A military service member must assess God\u2019s commands and the demands of the world, and he must choose which path he will take.\u00a0 Again, there is no single answer for every situation\u2026but every situation will arise.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is the second in a series of articles on military Christians and life priorities.\u00a0 The first addressed the necessity of the priority of God in a Christian’s life, and looked into the potential responses that others may have to that priority.\u00a0 The second priority that a military Christian must consider is that of his family. The Family Priority A […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24],"tags":[2],"class_list":["post-130","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christian-living","tag-military"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/christianfighterpilot.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/130","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/christianfighterpilot.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/christianfighterpilot.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christianfighterpilot.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christianfighterpilot.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=130"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/christianfighterpilot.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/130\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/christianfighterpilot.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=130"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christianfighterpilot.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=130"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christianfighterpilot.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=130"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}