Cadets at the US Air Force Academy recently penned a fake news article bemoaning a religious “cult” plaguing their school: the cult of the Sky Crane, aimed at the large crane overshadowing the campus constructing the “uniquely-shaped” Center for Character and Leadership Development.

Filled with innuendo and double entendre, the Onion-worthy piece highlights the persecution of cadets who fail to share the religion of the crane:

Cadets who will not embrace “Our Lord, the Crane” have found themselves increasingly marginalized and excluded from Wing activities:

“I have truly felt the soft, inconsequential blow of cadet discrimination. Last Thursday I tried to AMI a room in Sijan and was told to get out on account of my non-belief in our Lord and Savior the Crane. Over the weekend, I wasn’t even able to get into the football locker room despite not being on the team. It’s terrible. It’s not like I could even go hang out with people who don’t hate my guts over religion or something.”

The most amusing portion of the article, though, is the byline: “Mike Whinestein.”

The person who has made a comfortable living attacking issues of religion in the military — particularly in the Air Force — and started it all at USAFA is, of course, Michael “Mikey” Weinstein.

Well done, cadets. Well done.

Just watch out for Weinstein’s ego. It has his lawyers on speed dial.

(The “sky crane” cult is actually a veritable USAFA tradition. A few years ago an internet page honoring a (different) crane even attracted the crane’s operators, who demonstrated their sense of humor rivaled the cadets’.)

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